To be honest, great financial success has never motivated me, and I don’t care to leave a legacy of material things. So in my mind I crafted a legacy. I decided that I want my kids to see me walking in obedience to God. I want them to see me serving the church, and serving other people. I want them to see me taking spiritual risks, and living the life of a true disciple of Christ. But as I was thinking of all the things I want my kids to see me doing, something very important literally flooded my thoughts and washed over my heart, soul and mind.
More than any of those things, I realized that I just want my kids to see me. I want them to see me at their sporting events. I want them to see me at their school programs. I want them to see me at breakfast and at lunch n at supper. I want them to see me crouched behind a big teddy bear or sitting at Barbie doll's bday party, drinking imaginary tea and eating plastic doughnuts. I want them to see me at their desks, working through difficult subjects. I want them to see me tucking them in their bed, praying with them at night. I want them to see me with arms open wide to comfort them or to welcome them home after every school day with a new surprise. I want them to see me caring when they are scared or sad.
Yes, I want them to see me doing great things for God and living out the call on my life with honor. But at the end of the day, even those very good things probably don’t matter if, in the process, they never saw me. I think I will quit worrying about my kids seeing me as a supermom, and work harder to make sure that they simply see me as their MOM.
I do not see myself as the great expert on motherhood. I hope I have been transparent and honest in my self-assessment, especially with the weaknesses and faults that I have.
