It's your love...

No one to talk to
No one to care,
No one to see me
No one to bear.

Feeling lost n lonely
Secluded n alone,
And I can live Lord
If you live in me alone.

Its your love I hold onto
Its your love I always find.

When I feel empty n insecure
You hold me by your side
and I know that you love me,
n love me like your child.

You show me your presence
Whenever I feel lost
You show me your miracles
N show me that I am yours.

Your assurance and constant love
Will never let me die,
You raise me again n again
to fill my every desire.

I m waiting n waiting
To be finally hugged by you
And taken to my precious room
which is beautifully done by you.

Choices We Make.....

Sometimes in life, you have many choices only till you have chosen one.
Your choice could result in what you have lost or in what you have won.
Some choices may lead to loss and some to gain,
Some to happiness and others to much pain.

The outcome of some choices could be good and some bad,
Some could make you happy but some could leave you sad.
Some choices could lead to darkness and others lead to light:
Some could lead to blindness while others give you sight.

Some choices can build you up while some could break you down;
Some could make someone smile and others make them frown.
Some choices lead to blessing while others bring a curse;
Some make things better some make them worse.

Some choices lead to life and others lead to death;
And what we sow is what we reap is what we often forget.
So how do you choose when faced with many choices?
Do you listen to God's still small voice or to a host of confusing voices?
-----------

~Eric Trot

Behne de!!! (Let me flow...)

Whenever I m stuck..I watch this video...it speaks to me deep in my heart..... holistically speaking its cinematography, location, grief , passion , longing, a uniquely woven feel of the song expressing some kind of boundation, restriction of the feelings to flow....attracts me voluminously ....behne de ghanghore ghata behne de paani ki tarah ....saagar mein ja milna hai...behne de nadiya ki tarah....for me it means ...love is like a river ...let its feelings flow coz it is its nature to flow...if you restrict its flow ..it can turn disastrous for itself n for others.....its flow is divine ....its purpose of whole existence is to flow....let it flow....n let it merge in its source divine....the final destination assigned....if obstructed, diverted or restricted.....you go against the will of God n purpose of God...so let it flow....it can only survive if it flows freely....let it flow......Umeed ko aag laga zara ...for me it means you are born to stay hopeful, hopeful n  ignited in your love n passions which God blessed you with....let it flow in your Spirit n Soul through n through..Sehra ki pyaas bujha zara boldly speaks to me by doing the will of god only ..you can fulfill your desperate soul's desires...which is to be an instrument in God's hand... n feel contented n rest in God's fulfilling satisfaction in your divine purpose....Its a song that connects me to Me. 

I want my kids to see me....

To be honest, great financial success has never motivated me, and I don’t care to leave a legacy of material things. So in my mind I crafted a legacy. I decided that I want my kids to see me walking in obedience to God. I want them to see me serving the church, and serving other people. I want them to see me taking spiritual risks, and living the life of a true disciple of Christ. But as I was thinking of all the things I want my kids to see me doing, something very important literally flooded my thoughts and washed over my heart, soul and mind.

More than any of those things, I realized that I just want my kids to see me. I want them to see me at their sporting events. I want them to see me at their school programs. I want them to see me at breakfast and at lunch n at supper. I want them to see me crouched behind a big teddy bear or sitting at Barbie doll's bday party, drinking imaginary tea and eating plastic doughnuts. I want them to see me at their desks, working through difficult subjects. I want them to see me tucking them in their bed, praying with them at night. I want them to see me with arms open wide to comfort them or to welcome them home after every school day with a new surprise. I want them to see me caring when they are scared or sad.

Yes, I want them to see me doing great things for God and living out the call on my life with honor. But at the end of the day, even those very good things probably don’t matter if, in the process, they never saw me. I think I will quit worrying about my kids seeing me as a supermom, and work harder to make sure that they simply see me as their MOM.

I do not see myself as the great expert on motherhood. I hope I have been transparent and honest in my self-assessment, especially with the weaknesses and faults that I have.

..........

New Collection from Estudio Divino 2012

"UNLOVED"

"UNLOVED"

Jesus is the Love defined....Love is no more a concept...no more an abstract feeling....When I look upto Jesus I see Love....In Him the content of love is epitomized...Where there is no love there is no life, no meaning... No matter how often you are rejected, no matter how bad n vulnerable n unloved you feel....there is Jesus who welcomes you with open arms accepting you as you are...comforting you n loving you forever n ever unconditionally and at all times....trusting in Him gives Joy to the heart. In Him you never feel alone. In Him you have peace that passes all understanding.

PS: Art piece defined; Acrylic on canvas;Size: 21W 14H 

"ONLY YOU"

Everybody needs inspirationEverybody needs a songA beautiful melody when the night's so long'Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy....

When my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the darkThat's when I look at YOU...

When the waves are flooding the shoreAnd I can't find my way home anymoreThat's when I look at YOU...

When I look at YOU, I see forgiveness, I see the truthYOU love me for who I am like the stars hold the moonRight there where they belongAnd I know I'm not alone...
YOU appear just like a dream to me...Just like kaleidoscope colors that prove to meAll I need, every breath that I breatheDon't YOU know, you're heart is so beautiful....

Art Piece : "Only You" in Arcylic on canvas, painted by meInspiration for this Art piece: YOU, A song sung by HM, n My only God.

Unnamed feeling took me away!

Its about my very recent past...witnessed myself being bad and so perfectly!!..How hurtful my words can be!! ..after few minutes I asked myself. "Was that you, who acted this way"...my patience deserted me ..and I felt so vulnerable for few minutes .....as if something ugly passed through my body suddenly. I had 'stumbled'.


Sometimes its just little things that put you off whereas there are much bigger issues you are able to overcome...Isn't it strange!!  According to me, the things which put you off are the things that matter to you the most and seated deep in the core of your hearts..and a little turbulence here n there makes you feel insecure and feel threatened, then you just react impulsively n repulsively n what not, in an attempt to make things right again...but actually taking a wrong route!


I was so unpredictable, even to my own self...caught off guard....trapped by my anger....my resentment.... my own words were my biggest enemies......and realized  that my mind was untuned..and in the process bruised my own heart badly.


"Be still and know that I am God."..I have read this verse so many times in my life but today I can read it in the new light....."Be still" and "I am God of all situations" were the words for me.....I wish I could get this rhema just at the right time...I wish my anger would not have clouded my senses...I wish I could have bridled my tongue...

But just after few minutes I was sheltered n protected by the much desired forgiveness of the person whom I hurt, the person who holds a special place in my life...n found myself in the closed room praying....

Father I pray to you to make me more sensitive to your whisper of guidance just at the  time I need it most so that I can turn away from such incidents by your strength alone.

May my words be the light and not the darkness for people, and not the words that hurt or crush spirits.......and give me strength to overcome the rebel working against me in my flesh...let your Holy Spirit tame my heart n heal it. Let what I receive freely and in abundance from you be flowed out to others through me - Your love, peace, patience, kindness n forgiveness.

Lord I bless you for being my Lifeboat
n a forgiving Father

Hope n Endurance n Forgiveness
... be my jewels forever n ever.


In Jesus' name Amen

Agape'

WISDOM!!!

I have recently started studying the Book of Proverbs in the Bible which is written by the wisest man of all times, King Solomon, who was once asked by God to choose any one thing from Wealth and Wisdom, and he chose Wisdom and God granted him both. :)

And this book tells us the importance and benefits of Wisdom and also how we can get it, how we can ask for it n how God grants it.

I m sure it will be an amazing and interesting study hereafter.

I donno why God gave me the desire to study this particular book but I know there is God's purpose in it and asking Him for in-depth understanding into His word.

God is omniscient. When I realize this and acknowledge where I stand..in comparison to God's knowledge about all things, I go down on my knees (act of surrendering in complete faith) and ask for His understanding, His insight and His wisdom to deal and understand situations around me and He helps. 

As scripture says at different places:

"For the Lord grants Wisdom! From His mouth comes in-depth understanding."

"Fear(Respect & Love) of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom." 

"Blessed are those who realize their need for Him."

According to the book of Proverbs, knowledge is good but wisdom is even better. Knowledge helps you to pass tests and accomplish tasks. But wisdom will guide you through the most important and even  less important decisions in life.

"These proverbs will make simpletons wise, wise will become wiser, and those who understand, receive guidance by exploring the depths of meaning in these proverbs."

*Wisdom is:

1. God's Knowledge ( All Facts n Truth)

2. God's Understanding ( Meaning of all things)
3. God's Insight (in-depth sense to act correctly)

Three vital attributes of God's omniscience!!

People wrongly name it as Intuition or Sixth sense but it is God's Good Sense which leads you into Truth about someone or something....Wisdom can also lead you into prophetic insights from God.

                                             

* I can get Wisdom if I:

1. Ask God - "If any of you lacks wisdom, He should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

2. Love and Respect God - "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom" Proverbs 1:7

"A person who does not know God may be clever. He may have many skills. We can learn many things from him. Such a person lacks something important. He has learnt many lessons. But he has missed the first lesson. Wisdom begins when a person respects God." 

So, by now, we know what is Wisdom and how we can acquire it. But the author of the book goes further into the depths of the subject and warns that don't get satisfied with little wisdom that you get but "cry out and search for more insight and understanding as you would for a hidden treasure or lost money" coz then "you will understand what it means to fear the Lord.... and then you will gain knowledge of God...and then you will know how to find the right course of action every time....coz Wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise planning will watch over you and understanding will keep you safe."

What a benefit to know such God who cares so deeply!

And what a privilege to share His omniscience which is freely available for us, guiding us to display His splendor and glory in everything we do.

Here I come at the end of today's blog..Keep watching this area for more.

May God guide you n Bless you.

            

Decoupaged....

These are my recent Music Abstract Paintings done with a technique called Decoupage. Decoupage is an original arrangement of cut-outs or paste-ons used on any surface or canvas or accessories to simulate painting.

It was fun tearing these print-outs n then pasting on with texture n paints and the result turned out  nice n unique. :)

"Love Untitled"

LOVE UNTITLED

Love...The most difficult topic to write about..like so many others attempted to write, I am also not an exception and trying to comprehend this word in light of my life...Recently have started thinking about it a lot...maybe because this topic is a writer's choice or a poet's first theme, or maybe a painter's obsession or perhaps life is shaping up in a brand new way. And the reason is that its unique for every individual..and for me too.....its a feeling which pockets so many emotions together. Love is not always beautiful, its not always rosy, its not always singing and dancing, but has many more emotions when you feel low, down, depressed, lonely, aggressive, longing, angry, n so on....but most importantly, inspite of all of it....Love still holds its place firm in your heart...it says be patient ...this will all come to pass.

For me its the only feeling which reveals your true self...when you are You...you evolve together with a person you love...you grow with sweet n sour memories together..which knits two people more closely and binds them stronger ..where one loses the grip on life other comes along...when one falls other lifts up.....when one drowns in depression the other gives you hand and pulls you back...

Love is a gift from God. Its patient. Its kind. Its forgiving. Its seeing the good n ignoring the wrong. Its an Inspiration. Its a desire to live fully. Its a smile. Its a twinkle in the eye. Its the joy of the heart. 

For me Love is not Blind.....its a special sight God gives to a person to be able to see the other person with God's vision.

Painting "Love Untitled" by me
Acrylic on stretched canvas

Word of God / Wilderness!!

Today while I was having my Quiet Time ...actually had lot of things to talk about and to begin with I let God take the lead from the Scripture and allowed Him to speak to me and I was lead  to the passage in the book of Deuteronomy...where I read :

2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

After reading this suddenly the whole story about the journey of stubborn and grumbling Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land flashed in my memory and also how God used Moses and then Joshua to shepherd the Israelites through the wilderness leading them into Canaan - The Promised Land.

There are few things which God was bringing to my attention  from Deuteronomy 8:2-3

God led Israelites through the wilderness for forty long years for a Purpose, the purpose of  humbling them down and testing them to prove their character to find out whether or not they truely loved Him, whether they are intently obeying Him or not...For God the first concern towards us is Love and Obedience...He is only interested in our Hearts...n no other human effort!

The next thing that came to my focus in these verses was the word "hunger".

Yes! I remember, 7 yrs back, when I too was going through the hardest, the toughest, the bitter part of my life where God purposely set in the hunger from almost all directions.....

He humbles us so that we can Love him honestly ,  He brings us down on our knees so that we can depend only on Him, He breaks us so that He can sprout a new life in us which could belong to him alone. And He does that by letting us go hungry, hungry for perfect life, hungry for better relationships, hungry for perfect jobs, hungry to fill up the void in our lives, hungry for the calmness and peace in our hearts, hungry to know what lies ahead, hungry to clear our past fears, hungry for forgiveness of people...and so much more ....

And then when He finishes His task of humbling us down, he feeds us with Manna - a food previously unknown, never heard of, never ever seen by anyone....a food that was showered upon Israelites in the wilderness, where there was no source or resource expected. God provided them food! Food which filled them to their satisfaction.
This is how God fills...fills emotionally, physically and spiritually...and gives you abundant life so that we can praise Him and thank Him and Glorify him and enjoy His love and Fellowship more and more with all our hearts without distraction ...and then He automatically takes care of all our worries and queries of life.

By doing all this He teaches us that its not the food that we eat gives us Life but we need more and more of  "Manna for Life" which comes from feeding on every Word God speaks to us when we have a humble n teachable heart to be able to be taught by God , our Father who disciplines us like His own child...just to help us enjoy the Life he has promised us.

For me its an everyday affair to come at my Abba Father's feet and ask him to humble me down n make me teachable n obedient to His word. But only by his grace I am able.

I want to ask few questions to myself.....

Am I still going through an exile that God had set up for me like for Israelites in the wilderness for forty long years or I am allowing God to transform me to be able to enjoy the life He has dreamed for me?
Am I craving for the right food? Are there any areas in my life that needs to be humbled down further? Am I acknowledging God's Manna in my life or just taking them casually?

Praising God for speaking to me today.

Blessings for all those who gonna read this testimony.
May God be with you. Forever and Ever.